The Sad Saga of Kent Hovind

Being a martyr sucks.

I mean, you get assaulted for your religious beliefs by a vicious state government determined to grind you underfoot, because, y’know, evangelical Christians are constantly persecuted in America. Never mind the Church is the wealthiest and most predominant in the Western world. If evangelicals are smart (and they pray on it), they’d best be building their hidden shelters right now against the encroaching hordes of MIBs out to get them.

But don’t fret, “true” believers. After all, God loves a martyr, and He’s got a big payoff for those who throw themselves under a bus (or even better, in front of a government bullet) in His holy name, which means—that’s right—an E-ticket straight to heaven with all the blueberry muffins you can eat!

And who wouldn’t wanna be publicly mocked and disemboweled for that?

Alas, such is the struggle of Kent Hovind (AKA: “Dr. Dino”), currently a guest of the Pensacola Federal Prison Camp in Florida.

Kent Hovind (Inmate #06452-017)

Yes, Kent’s is indeed a sad tale. Until recently, he was doing so well, having toured the world giving speeches on young-earth creationism where Kent dispensed such sage nuggets as his belief that modern science does not understand the basic nature of light, childhood immunizations are Satanic, and that dinosaurs and humans once co-existed (the ancient poem “Beowulf” being proof).

On top of all this, in 2001 Kent founded Dinosaur Adventure Land in Florida, a creationist theme park (with playground equipment for rides) which earned him roughly $5 million between 1999-2004.

Yet aside from these burdens, Kent is yoked by a Christian duty to battle a government out to get him – as in one ridiculously self-serving case where Hovind battled his local county in court for five years over a $50 building fee, until finally settling for a $250 fine after spending $40,000 in legal costs. Then, so not to outdo himself, Kent later took his crusade to the Federal government (or was it the reverse?) after failing to withhold FICA payroll taxes from his park and ministry employees (citing God as his boss), while refusing to deal with the IRS on a settlement.

Long story, short: in November 2006, while being tried on 58 counts of tax evasion, Kent issued the court the following statement…

When asked by the Judge [presiding over his trial] where he lives, Hovind replied: "I live in the church of Jesus Christ, which is located all over the world. I have no residence." (Pensacola News Journal, July 17, 2006.)

After making brilliant statements like this in court, perhaps it’s not surprising that Kent was convicted of tax evasion on all counts, and sentenced to 10 minimum-security years to ponder his actions.

So that was that, case closed. The legal system happily moved on.

Yet as you can see from a recent blog entry below (dated 3-28-07), Kent’s still very much confused as to why he’s in stir:

As much as I wish I were home with my family and staff and back out preaching, and as much as I still don’t understand what I did wrong or why this all happened, I do know it is my duty to forgive those who hurt me and my family (that’s been hard!) and to reach those I meet for the Lord. We had a great revival in G2O at the county jail and I am trusting God to do the same here.

Maybe God is allowing me to see and experience this to prepare me to serve during the one-thousand year reign of Christ (Luke 19:19). Maybe it is so I will better understand the broken hearts of millions of innocent people who have been jailed, beaten or killed over the centuries by heartless dictators or ruthless governments. Maybe there are dozens of other reasons known only to God, but this I know: God is too good to make a mistake. I’ve served God too long (38 years) to doubt His wisdom. Just as Moses only got to see God after He passed by (Exodus 33:22), I have learned that I often see God’s hand after He’s done.

After reading Kent’s comments, two things are obvious: 1) Kent is suffering from a huge martyrdom complex, and; 2) Kent is desperately clinging to the belief that he is governed by divine law before earthly laws he sees as immoral.

Never mind he and his wife, Jo, had owed $845K in unpaid taxes, and that Kent’s own recorded statements (in a jailhouse conversation with his son) incriminated himself in court. We’re all clearly supposed to kneel at the cross Kent has nailed himself upon because—never mind he was caught red-handed—he ultimately is a man of God.

So Kent’s made his proverbial bed, and now he’ll lie in it; 99% of normal people would likely agree. Yet as Kent’s blog reveals, he has no shortage of gullible supporters. Many of whom happily believe that Kent’s been railroaded by an anti-Christian court system out to get him.

But what to make of Kent for now? Well, I doubt he’ll do his full stretch in prison. Yet when he is finally released, it’s clear Hovind will have no concept as to why he was jailed, making the odds of him being busted again on further tax evasion charges likely. Plus, after his parole, Hovind would be foolish (a safe bet) to assume the IRS won’t be watching his ledgers closely for future discrepancies. And if they find one, it’s back to the cooler for Kent.

But hey, first thing’s first.

For now, Kent Hovind will have to trust in God that this evil conspiracy levied at him will be one day dispelled, and the doors of his prison will swing wide open with a crack of thunder, signaling Kent’s divine parole. In the meantime, we can take heart that the U.S. justice system does—in fact—work on occasion, and that hiding behind the Bible is no defense for breaking the law.

Sleep tight, Kent. Remember to sleep on your back.

Note: Hovind’s lectures over the years have created a geyser of bizarre statements explaining his unshakable knowledge of science, history, politics, and religion. So just for fun, I think I’ll let Kent himself share a few examples (courtesy of Wikiquote):

"[Evolution Theory] is the motivating factor for guys like Hitler and Stalin and George W. Bush, by the way, who is a Satan worshipper, like we don't know that."

• "Truth Radio" 3 April 2006 @ 19:20 (Tape 1)

"There is [in Darwinism] definitely a conspiracy, but I don’t think that it is a human conspiracy. I don’t believe there is a smoke filled room where a group of men get together and decide to teach evolution in all the schools. I believe that it is at a much higher level. I believe that it is a Satanic conspiracy. The reason these different people come to the same conclusion is not because they all met together; it is because they all work for the devil. He is their leader and they don’t even know it."

• "Unmasking the False Religion of Evolution," 1996

"I suspect SARS is one of the many, many, many man-made pathogens to purposely lower the human population. That's just what I would suspect. I love my country; I fear my government, okay. There have been all kinds of things produced in the last 50 years in various laboratories - and things like that - that are designed to kill people. Bottom line: I think SARS is probably one of those man-made pathogens, like probably AIDS is the same thing."

• "Truth Radio", 7 August 2003, 42:30

"My take on what happened with the moon landing was [......] they suspect [sic] that on impact that the cameras would be damaged because back in 1969 cameras weren't, you know, like they are today, as good. So they had a studio set up at CBS to mimic the moon landing. And sure enough the cameras broke and so they flipped, you know, the CBS studio on. And what you saw of the footage of the '69 moon landing was actually at a CBS studio."

• "Creation Evolution and Dinosaurs session #5 Q&A", 1:55, January 2002

"The Oklahoma City bombing was done on purpose. Did you know the Federal Government blew up their own building to blame it on the militias, and to get rid of some people that weren't cooperating with the system?"

• "Evolution: the Foundation for Communism, Nazism, Socialism, and the New World Order - Video - Part 5" @1:36:10, June 2003

"Did you know that the black suited organization that attacked the Koresh cult [in Waco, TX; 1992] was a United Nations task force?"

• "Unmasking the False Religion of Evolution Chapter 6", 1996, (a transcript of Kent Hovind's early sermons)