Wednesday, September 30, 2009

What's New?

Yesterday, on “Hardball” Chris Mathews foolishly bandied about the idea of Liz Cheney running for national office one day. And of course, anything is possible, but considering how toxic a political legacy her father, Old Man Potter, left behind I’d be hard pressed to see Ms. Cheney (whose politics are very close to her dad's) getting elected outside of the reddest of states.

And as for any office which would require centrist support, forget it. The Cheney clan ain’t into centrism of any kind.

As for the hub-bub over Sarah Palin’s new book, titled Going Rogue: An American Life, being bumped up to November, I’m certain that with many conservative book clubs buying copies en masse to puff up sales that it will be a big seller. However, even more entertaining, I’ll wager, will be Palin making the rounds on TV talk shows to pimp her book, and trying to form a coherent thought in the process.

But then again, Palin (and her ghost-writer, Lynn Vincent) could prove to be a brilliant wordsmith. Hell, take it from ex-Senator and whip-smart literary critic Rick Santorum:

“[Palin] has a gift for prose. Hopefully that comes across." - on Going Rogue.

Finally, check out the following rumor from the New York Post (which I advise taking with a large block of salt, despite it being funny) regarding an apparent coolness to Sarah Palin’s hitting the lecture circuit for the asking price of $100,000 per pop (which frankly, is chicken feed compared to what many speakers make for one hour’s work behind the podium).

Could Palin's low price be a confirmation that many groups outside of right-wing think tanks and conservative colleges just aren't interested in hearing anything she has to say? After all, following Palin's early exit from her governorship, her odds of returning to national politics as a serious candidate are very slim outside of her immediate base who adores everything Palin does.

Anyhow...that's just me thinking out loud.

Note: Thanks to Andrew Sullivan for all of the links above.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


As the countdown to Friday’s announcement of the winning city for the 2016 Summer Olympics ticks away, the inside word—for whatever it’s worth—is that Chicago and Rio are in close competition for the final prize.

Right off, both cities have serious cons, Rio's being crushing poverty, gang violence, and internal corruption, with Chicago’s downsides being major issues with fiscal management and a central infrastructure that is in dismal shape.

Still, as a hometown boy, I’m hoping Chicago will win the games (and with Barack Obama making a personal pitch in Denmark this Friday, the city’s odds can only benefit), but if it turns out that Rio does it will be the first time an Olympiad has been staged in South America.

So that’s good too.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Bloody Awful

My God, whoever redesigned this season’s version of Tommy Hawk (the mascot for the Chicago Blackhawks) desperately needs to be fired, beaten with a lead pipe in a parking lot, then fired again.

This one looks like a demented turkey. It is jaw-droppingly bad.

I can't even come up with a pithy caption here. This is terrible.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Career Counseling

Like many people, I have no tolerance for animal abuse, something that would make me an exceptionally poor candidate for a job as an animal cruelty investigator as seen on many Animal Planet programs like “Animal Cops.” My problem is that upon witnessing animal cruelty, such investigators must contain their emotions – even in the grievous situations which would otherwise inspire you to take a person who, say, left a dog locked in a dark basement room to starve to death, and throw said perpetrator down a flight of stairs three or four times.

As such, I found another line of work.

Yet sometimes, I allow myself to indulge in revenge fantasies against certain people along the lines of the following tale involving a coonhound now up for adoption in rural Illinois which, well, I’ll let the Petfinder ad do the talking…

Bounty [the dog’s name] was born in an area where dogs of his breed are prized for their hunting abilities…Many of the hunting dogs are kept in large outdoor kennels…which Bounty was. So, the story goes, the owner was at work, [and] Bounty had been barking a little too much for the neighbor, so he decided to put an end to the noise.

He came over, and shot [the dog].

When the owner found out, he took him to the vet, found out Bounty was not going to be 100%, he said he would take him home and finish him off. Thankfully the vet said he would…keep him. Bounty is now with us. The bullet had to be left in his leg, it is a bit atrophied, but he is exercising it.

Now the story above may not be 100% accurate, but the bulk of it is likely more true than not considering the dog still has a bullet still lodged inside it. But aside from all this, if anyone ever came within 100 yards of my own dog with the intent to harm her, I would put that person in the hospital and enjoy every moment of it.

But even worse, the fucking hick who brought the dog into the vet (which surprises me) offering to finish the job personally is yet another reason why some people should be sterilized by law to prevent their in-bred, possum-hunting, Rush Limbaugh-listening, three teeth in their head, white trash DNA being passed onto another generation.

I’m not a hateful person, but I hate people responsible for incidents like those described above. As a matter of fact, had I the means, I’d adopt the dog myself, then find the bastard who shot him and pull a Dick Cheney on his redneck ass.

FYI: For those interested in sending donations to the group that rescued Bounty the dog, click here.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Grumpy Pants

For the record, there are two things I honestly like about Michelle Malkin: she’s a lovely woman, and has enough moxy to power a small city.

Unfortunately, however, it seems said moxy is heavily grounded in anger, obsession, and vomiting forth a steady stream of horseshit-flavored vitriol about those whom Malkin perceives as America’s enemies of all ages.

I also find it ironic that as a first-generation American, Malkin is a serious nativist. And if you don’t know the definition of that word, I recommend reading or watching “Gangs of New York.”

Uh, oh - looks like someone contradicted the queen bee.