Somewhere on Skid Row, God is Smacking His Head...

Quickly catching up with the likes of L. Ron Hubbard and Joseph Farah on the subject of living in an alternate reality, Bill O’Reilly last night dueled with guest and radio commentator Ed Schultz on the subject of whether homeless veterans truly exist in the US – with Bill-O taking the position that, like the Apollo moon landings and underpants gnomes, abundant reports of homeless vets are the stuff of fantasy.

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Exhibit A (from Crooks & Liars, dated 1-6-08):

O’Reilly: As for John Edwards, Good grief! This guy has no clue. (plays clip)

Edwards: … and tonight, 200,000 men and women who wore our uniform proudly, and served this country courageously as veterans will go to sleep under bridges and on grates. We are better than this.

O’Reilly: That was Edwards’ concession speech last night. I mean, come on. The only thing sleeping under a bridge is that guy’s brain. 10 million illegal alien workers are sending billions of dollars back home and Edwards is running around saying nobody has any money. Hard to believe.

Exhibit B (from C&L, dated 1-14-08):

Ed Schultz: I think (Edwards’) message is strong and he has tremendous conviction, but I think he needs a little bit more material than just the “Two Americas” talk. He’s got to get a little bit deeper.

BOR: Well, we’re still looking for all the veterans sleeping under the bridges, Ed, so if you find anybody, let us know, because that’s all [Edwards has] said for the last three nights…

ES: Well they’re out there, Bill. Don’t kid yourself.

BOR: They may be out there, but there’s not many of them out there. Okay? So if you know where one is, Ed…

ES: Well, actually…Now, wait a minute…one in ..

BOR: Ed, Ed. If you know where’s a veteran, sleeping under a bridge, you call me immediately, and we will make sure that man does not do it. Is not there.

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“We will make sure the man does not do it”?

Putting aside O’Reilly’s massive delusion that his show wields tremendous influence on American culture and daily life, I wonder how he would precisely set straight “the [homeless] man” in question?

Say, invite him over for a home-cooked dinner, and give him the spare room at Bill’s place until the poor guy gets back on his feet?

Methinks not.

Nevertheless, O’Reilly’s galactic ignorance on homeless vets, women, Western history, the table manners of Afro-American diners in Harlem, NY, et al., plus a multitude of other topics could not possibly make for better unintentional comedy.

I seriously hope that Fox gives Bill a very long-term contract extension, like, tomorrow.

The man is a priceless model for millions of people—Americans or not—on how not to go about one’s life.