Friday, August 1, 2008

Three Bushes and a Limp Penis

Now that I’m back at work, when I go out for lunch I typically spend a few minutes getting my political talk fix on the radio—typically, Ed Schultz or Rush Limbaugh—which between the two, I can briefly tolerate the latter before he starts flagrantly lying about those he sees as a threat to his definition of America.

Anyhow, this week heralded the drug-addled gasbag’s 20th anniversary as the greatest media waterboy the RNC ever had, and to mark the occasion Limbaugh received a surprise call from the Bush boys at their Keenebunkport estate.

On the call (transcripted here) both Poppy Bush and Jeb are quite charming, offering kudos to El Drugbo while ducking the temptation to use the airtime to score cheap political points – something, not surprisingly, the current President Bush could not resist doing as he hammered his plan for expanded offshore oil drilling, and Limbaugh used the same window to distort Obama’s energy plan.

Particularly amusing was when Bush The Younger claimed that by expanding offshore drilling, Americans would have the treat of buying “American oil” – a curious statement considering that all crude goes into the global market pool where it ceases to be Iraqi, or Mexican, or of any national flavor at all, and is happily bought up by titanic oil conglomerates.

You’re right, Dubya. That is a profound honor.

And Rush, on marking yet another year of excellence in broadcasting, I truly hope your retreat tonight to your large and lonely bed (in your equally large and lonely Palm Beach estate) marks the postponement for just one more day—just one more day, Rusty!--of the crushing reality to come when you at last realize you will never know the love of a woman during your sad, hollow lifetime.

Sweet dreams, big boy. Sweet dreams.

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