Thursday, September 11, 2008

Diana Ascendant

Well, so much for my resolution not to blog about politics for a while....


It’s official: Sarah Palin has become the Republican nominee for President of The United States.

Whether she is atop the GOP ticket or not, John McCain has officially been eclipsed by his running mate. Right now, he’s just a prop--and a dusty one at that—as indicated today by a Northern Virginia crowd of 20,000 (many women) who greeted Palin with mass appeal only to wander off after she left the podium, and McCain began to speak.

And why not?

These women didn’t come to see crusty old Steve Trevor, they wanted Wonder Woman, sworn protector of Paradise Island (which is apparently somewhere in the Aleutians) and little babies everywhere.

While campaigning solo in Pittsburgh yesterday, this “Where’s Sarah?” effect was as noticeable for McCain at a dainty meet-and-greet with local voters. And as a result, the stark public contrast of these event types—those staged with McCain and Palin together, and others with them apart—has prompted a quick decision among McCain’s handlers to put them side by side on as many future campaign stops as possible.

Thus, the new reality of McCain’s political fate could not be clearer: his presidency is riding solely on Sarah Palin’s ability to draw in evangelicals, and married women voters.

Issues, be damned.

Health care costs? Jobs? The weak dollar? Screw it all.

Palin is a majority investor in his future, and McCain knows it. He might as well have wed another beer heiress; Palin’s got his manhood locked in the fridge. And were she to suddenly quit the ticket and flee to Juneau tonight, the resulting black hole among Republicans would instantly destroy any chances for a McCain victory in November.


When one realizes how blindingly fast Palin’s rise to political stardom has come on (based on a single speech), it feels either breathtaking or deeply disturbing.

I’m not sure which.

For the sake of argument, though, I’ll defer to the disturbing side – bearing in mind that Palin’s super-ascension has skipped the traditional electoral process of grilling candidates for almost two years, a routine which is painstaking for a reason: no one wants a person elected to the White House without examining them from all possible angles.

Most vying for the presidency ran this gauntlet for 18 months; Palin (via being a heartbeat away from it) will do it in two.

And while she’s a stranger to national and global affairs, her admirers don’t seem to care because, hell, she’s Princess Diana: sculpted from clay, given life by the gods, and imbued with the power to raise five kids, collect Federal earmarks, plus field a battery of G8 meetings with world leaders before streaking home to put her baby down for the night.

Now that’s multi-tasking.

From any perspective, Sarah Palin is a very modern model of a modern superhero – with a plastic Baby Jesus under one arm, and a 12-gauge under the other. And whether her one Achilles Heel (e.g. kryptonite, the color yellow, knowing dick about foreign affairs) is exposed in the coming weeks or not is anyone’s guess.

However, were I John McCain, I might seriously be concerned about GOP voters ignoring his name on the November ballot, and writing in Palin’s instead.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up...

No comments: