Before I Pack Up & Drive To The Airport

Was cruising a few of my favorite blogs today before heading east, and ran across a reference to the following on Colleen Doran’s ADS site.

The piece is in regards to a current dust-up between a fine, upstanding individual named Todd Goldman, owner of a t-shirt company called David & Goliath, and claims of his allegedly (we all love that word, don’t we?) co-opting work by other artists for his own t-shirt designs, while pocketing the profit to the tune of $90M.

But wait! It gets better! Late last week, Goldman allegedly instructed his attorneys to send angry, cease & desist e-mails to several blogs which have allegedly attacked his actions, leading many to spinelessly (and allegedly) back down and withdraw any articles allegedly casting Goldman in an allegedly unfavorable light.

Anyhow, click here on News-o-rama, and here for all the gory details. Feel free to click here as well for a novel shirt design noted below.

Image (c) 2007 by Huzzah Goods

In Which I Head East

I’ll be out the next few days visiting Washington DC and Baltimore.

At the former, I’d normally be hanging with my friend Sam, but he’ll be traveling himself. So I’ll have to scout my own distractions in our nation’s capital, one being trucking to Georgetown to catch “Spider-Man 3” on Friday before moving onto Fells Point for a tour led by author/friend Troy Taylor.

The "Exorcist Stairs" in Georgetown which I plan to
hurl myself down...y'know, just for fun

For those unaware, Fells Point is a gentrified part of Baltimore Harbor sporting pubs with surly names (Wharf Rat, Cat’s Eye, The Horse You Rode in On), an excellent music store (The Sound Garden), and locations used for all seasons of “Homicide: LOTS”

I also recommend the fish & chips at Kooper’s on Thames Avenue.

My other time in Charm City will touch on sites missed during my last trip east, including Camden Yards, which I couldn’t get inside as the Orioles’ regular season had not yet begun. This time, however, I scored a bleacher ticket (May 6^th vs. Cleveland) as soon as I secured my new travel dates. I’m not really an O’s fan, mind you. But I’ve wanted to see their luscious ballpark since it opened in ‘92.

I’ll also re-visit Atomic Books (close to Johns Hopkins U), which features a fine selection of psychotronic DVDs, and stop by the Maryland SPCA to make a donation.

Anyhow, I’ll take a few digital shots cataloguing my east coast adventures to post here at the Church.

Until then, pray hard.

Attention All Clowns: You Die Now

Whenever watching “Inside The Actor’s Studio” from time to time, who hasn’t quietly provided one’s own answers to host James Lipton’s questionnaire given at the end of each episode?

In my case, most answers to the questionnaire are light and breezy….

• “What is your favorite word?” That’s easy: “jocular.”
  

• “What job would you like to attempt?” Also easy: “Roller coaster designer.”

• “Sound or noise that you love?” Slam dunk: “Ocean surf.”
  

However, when the question of “What turns you off?” arises the answer is always the same: clowns.

Well, that and ignorance. But I digress…I hate clowns. I mean it.

Yes, I realize most clowns (from circuses and what-not) are nice people dressed in makeup and frilly costumes. But I still don’t want them near me. Hell, were I ever unlucky enough to be interrogated in an Orwellian-style Room 101—where one’s deepest fears are used against you—bringing out a prancing clown would collapse my will like a house of cards.

Either that, or I’d fly into a rage, and bludgeon said clown with his own floppy shoe thus conquering my fear. It’s kind of a toss-up.

Either way, it’s good to know I’m not alone in my clown-o-phobia and that treatment options do, in fact, exist.

In the meantime, I will continue to be vigilant. You never know when the insidious smell of grease paint is creeping up behind you.

"Smile, you cherry-nosed psycho!"

The Billy Show: A Brief Recap

At last night’s Billy Joel show—which rocked, by the bye—it struck me that thoughtless morons can truly manifest anywhere – not just movie theatres.

Case in point: the two moronic girls behind me who felt compelled to loudly comment (because you can’t let a concert get in the way of a good conversation) on the lighting rigs suspended above the stage.

Fortunately, they shut up soon after less had they experienced an unforgettable free fall off the balcony courtesy of me.

Otherwise, I was pretty happy.

Despite some hiccups with the sound system, The Billy Show was terrific, and considering the deep well of available songs, easily could have gone longer than the 130 minutes (plus two encores) it did.

But no matter. I got my money’s worth.

This isn't my actual ticket (mine was a damned computer print-out),
but it's a close facsimile of what I would have gotten to keep as a souvenir

Update: Fred Phelps & Virginia Tech

Out of the goodness of his heart, Kansas-based hate monger Fred Phelps announced this past weekend on his website (I refuse to post a link here, but you can Google it) that he no longer plans to picket the funerals of students killed in last week’s incident at Virginia Tech.

The reason why is, as a sort of olive branch, radio host Mike Gallagher has offered to provide Phelps three hours of free airtime to share his insane rants in exchange for a promise not to darken VT’s campus – an offer Phelps has now accepted.

I seem to recall Phelps pulling a similar stunt last year, and since it worked then, I expect him to exploit future tragedies in this way. As such, I think Gallagher placating Phelps’ insanity is a big mistake.

If Phelps wants to isolate himself further from the human race, I say let him do it, and allow the Patriot Guard Riders keep his family mob (of which two wee members may be seen below, God help them) at bay.

Giving into glorified extortion scams as an alternative is, IMO, never the answer.

Don Imus Has Nothing On This

It’s always astounded me how, not so long ago, outright racism was an acceptable norm in America from a social and marketing point-of-view.

For several jaw-dropping examples, check out the following piece by Slate and ask yourself if any of the following ads wouldn’t trigger an apocalypse of outrage today.

So much for “the good ‘ol days”…

Musical Dreams

Throughout my life, I’ve never been a huge concert-goer, usually because of insanely high ticket costs native to bigger tours.

But between the years of 1995 and 1998 (mostly to get a girl’s attention) I went on a minor musical tear among a few Chicago venues including Metro, Park West, Double Door, and even Arlington Park when it took a year-off from horse racing to host concerts.

In retrospect--despite my lame motives--this musical period in my life was hardly a bad thing, as it led to some good shows (Ashley MacIssac, John Lee Hooker, Squeeze, Lenny Kravitz, Tori Amos, Sarah McLachlan). I even briefly hung with Natalie Merchant before a show at ISU.

But there are still some big acts I want to catch, acts I’ve listened to for ages but never landed a ticket for because, well, concerts were not a priority then.

So tonight I’ll be making an exception for Billy Joel at Sears Centre.

Other than being a great songwriter, I’ve always thought Billy Joel would make an outstanding music teacher, as during his 1999 appearance on “Inside The Actor’s Studio” he taught me more about music in two hours than I learned in six years of grade school instruction.

He’s also a legendary showman; I can’t sum Mr. Joel up much better than that.

And sure, I paid out big cabbage to see him. But to me, he’s worth it, as is shelling out an equally large sum to see The Police Reunion Tour this July at Wrigley Field.

Plus, I get the honor of dropping $25 on a t-shirt at both shows, which as everyone knows, are of the highest possible quality.