My Webs Don't Work

I’m not sure how—well, yes I do—but I have spent the past few days suffering from Tobey Maguire Syndrome (AKA: a sore back) and it fricking hurts.

No, I mean it. It doesn’t even hurt in a semi-amusing way, as if to say: “You're on the cusp of 40. Enjoy.” It feels like I was punched square in the back, and it sucks.

Is this what aging feels like?

"What's more agonizing than coming to a cemetery in the rain? My back!"