Back To The Well

On his column today for Human Events, ‘lil Benny Shapiro goes off on his latest uber-right rant on the Obama administration (which is both his right, and his M.O.) This time, by claiming that Obama has a greater vested interest in addressing that great right-wing bugaboo (global warming) than in keeping Americas safe from terrorist attack by the likes of Al Qaeda, and its ways splinter groups.

As silly and predictable as ‘lil Benny’s thesis is, the following sentence later in the same column caught my eye (emphasis mine):

“While missing a potentially catastrophic terror attack is problematic, it's good to know that we've got the inside dossier on the mating habits of polar bears. This isn't a shock coming from the ‘watermelon’ Obama White House -- green on the outside, red on the inside.”

Nice, huh?

That is, aside from ‘lil Benny’s cheeky hint that Obama is (uh, oh) a commie, Ann Coulter would doubtless be proud of his sentence above. Chiefly, as she has arguably perfected the fine neo-con art (one ‘lil Benny has clearly embraced) of desperately trying to make a point by wrapping it in a symbol (in this case, a well-known racist one) designed to inflame liberals, and then chuckling at the myriad (and predictable) backlash.

Not that lefties offended by ‘lil Benny’s “watermelon” gag would be the only ones perhaps rankled by his clever, racist jab at America’s first black president, as I’m sure ‘lil Benny himself (an Orthodox Jew) would be equally bothered by anyone comparing he and his ethnic heritage to, say, rats and hook-nosed moneychangers.

Gee, I’m sorry. Was that image offensive? Anti-Semitic even?

Oh, who gives a fuck? I made my point (e.g. ‘lil Benny is a gutless wonder who isn’t above racist jokes to get attention), didn’t I? So if I do likewise, and roll an Auschwitz gag to make a point about waterboarding, all the better as long as I can draw attention to myself. Because, y’know, as an up-and-coming right-winger myself, it’s all about me, bitches - as it is young Master Ben and his peers in right-wing media (e.g. Beck, Limbaugh, Wiener-Savage, Coulter, et al.) who've paved their golden roads to conservative notoriety one ugly slur at a time.

News flash, dickhead: a) Jack Bauer is a fictional character, and; b) Kiefer Sutherland is a liberal.

Even My Subconcious Mind is Geeky

Had a great dream last night--one that would make for a helluva concept were someone to put it all together financially—regarding my brother and I being part of an H.P. Lovecraft-themed weekend wherein guests stayed at an Innsmouth-esque hotel in the sticks, and were given assignments in various role-play scenarios (with actors) running day and night.

For example, your group could be assigned to investigate a manor house on the edge of the property for clues regarding a cult of Dagon and be expected to sneak in at 3AM to see what's what. Similarly, one could be resting comfortably in your dingy hotel room, and find your door being kicked in by actors playing local cultists out to get you (a la the Lovecraft short story "The Shadow Over Innsmouth").

Oh, and there was a Lovecraft-themed gift shop on-site as well. I think I bought a t-shirt.

Anyhow, sounds great, right? (Well, it does it me). And it would have been except for my alarm clock going off at 4AM for an early shift at my part-time gig this morning. And just when my brother and I were starting to get into character too.

Damnation!

Grabber

I have to hand it to Rush Limbaugh for not being able to resist editorializing, even at a press conference about his current hospitalization in Hawaii for chest pains.

But as usual, his gaping ignorance shines through in the following statement…

Limbaugh couldn't resist a few political comments during his short news conference at the Honolulu hospital.

One appeared to be aimed at health care reform, when he said he got the best health treatment in the world "right here in the United States of America."

"I don't think there's one thing wrong with the American health care system," Limbaugh said. "I got no special treatment other than what anybody else that would have called 911 and had been brought in with the same kinds of symptoms."

…when Rush neglects to note that many Americans--including myself—cannot afford nor have access to the health coverage he does that enabled him to receive treatment, and not worry later about perhaps having to sell one’s house to cover the bills.

Way to go, dickhead. Even in the midst of a personal health scare, you still don’t get it.

The Reason Why

Many friends of mine have often commented how my disdain for Sarah Palin regarding what may (or may not) be her plans to run for the presidency in 2012 seems to border on the harried and pathological.

And to an extent, these observers would be correct.

While I have nothing against Palin personally, the notion of her in the White House—be it in ‘12, or elsewhen—fucking terrifies me beyond belief.

And here’s why…

Doubtless, Sarah Palin is a charismatic figure, easily the greatest in the Republican Party today. Yet what troubles me most about Palin’s brand of public appeal is that it strongly reminds me of that channeled by fans of George W. Bush in 2000. And though many can argue—and rightfully so—that Bush’s greatest allies toward squeaking out a win in ‘00 were Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky and 9/11 his scary grease for re-election, his last day in office was welcomed with a national sigh of relief – ending what was arguably the worst presidency of the past century.

Yet I see little difference in the folksy two-step that Bush successfully sold America in ‘00, and the one Sarah Palin is performing today. Further, another telling source of excitement among Palin’s base is that she is arguably more conservative than Bush – something that strongly appeals to Republicans who feel his greatest fault was (prepare for mindfuck) in not being conservative enough. Yet from Bush’s Supreme Court picks to his love-hate relationship with the constitution to foreign policy, I’m stymied to see how he could have possibly been more right-wing less he had ordered the waterboarding of “activist judges,” and the executive erasure of Roe v Wade.

As such, my chief fear regarding Sarah Palin is that the US electorate will—again, be it in ‘12 or later—blissfully set aside the wreckage left behind by Bush’ neo-con policies, and elect someone who is happily offering the same menu with the same empty wink. If so, and Palin were to win a presidential election based on this deficit of short-term memory, those who joyously voted for her as the heir to Ronald Reagan—as Bush was alleged to have been—truly deserve whatever they get.

As for the rest of us, the rise of a President Sarah Palin—based solely on sex appeal, a bit over two years as governor of Alaska, and a payday for a ghost-written book--in any cycle would truly make the United States (once again) the dumbest nation on Earth.

Long may it reign.

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