Sacrilege

This past month, I did something I had never done before during my lifetime: I threw away a comic book.

Or more accurately, I recycled it.

In former days, doing something like this would have been nigh-unthinkable - yet it's only a comic, right?

Was the book offensive? Well, yes, if one considers being bloody dull as an offense.

But pitching the book almost felt cathartic, perhaps via separating myself from an old (now former) belief dating back to age twelve that every comic purchased must be stored and catalogued for future reference.

I finally realized, however, that this is ridiculous.

A friend of mine has a good idea for comics he's grown sour on: stacking them in a box throughout the year, and giving them to trick-or-treaters each Halloween along with the usual candy. This way, little goblins get their requisite sugar buzz, plus a little superheroic story which might spark their reading habits.

I think it's a fine idea. But of course, not all comics are for kid readers, so turning over my undesirables to my friend's Halloween giveaway is not an option.

But I digress...

Yesterday was trash day, and I threw a few more comics into the recycler. I even watched the collector pitch them into his truck with my used cans and bottles. But this time, I felt more at ease about doing so - for the reasons cited above.

Will my friends ever speak to me again for committing such a heinous act among comic geeks? I hope so.

Will I ditch a few more boring comics inthe future, sending them off for a new life as recycled legal pads? Probably, but not many.

Either way, I'll get by.

Mama! Mama! Look At The White Trash!

In theory, everyone in the U.S. justice system is presumed innocent before being proven guilty. But these fine folks (charged this week with the sadistic, week-long torture of a 20 year-old black woman in West Virginia) must be the exception.

I don’t envy the public defender assigned to stick up for these off-shoots of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre family in court.

But on the DA’s side, aiming for life in prison sounds like a good start. Either that, or everyone’s local Department of Conservation should start issuing hunting licenses to bag racist hillbillies (with no limit) alongside quail and deer.

No wait, strike that.

Leave the quail and deer out of it. They’re really innocent.

DG Reviews (The Oaks & Madison Meadows)

Yesterday, my pals and I took advantage of a glorious early fall day to motor down to Mokena, Illinois (due south of Chicago), to check out the site of July's DG State Championship: The Oaks.

For one thing, the name is accurate, as the site's 27-hole course meanders (and I mean meanders) around a grove of tall oaks and scrub points, with a small creek running through it. But on the whole, The Oaks was easier I expected, which I was frankly surprised by as not far away Joliet's West Park--while shorter than Mokena--is a much, much tougher course, and a site I'd figure would be much more fitting for the state championship.

But back up in the western 'burbs, Lombard's 18-hole Madison Meadows is wide open, and thus, a big challenge on windy days - calling for players to keep their shots low and level - less (like mine) they get caught in a breeze and sail into someone's backyard. A small lake is in play in one area, however, so be advised.

Early Christmas Wishes

Dear Santa:

Could I please have a tire iron and five minutes in a locked room with the fine, upstanding individuals responsible for this?

ATLANTA (WSB TV) -- Officials with a local animal shelter said they are concerned after accepting puppies with intentional burns down their backs. Officials with PAWS Atlanta said they have accepted and treated six separate dogs suffering from burns on their backs. PAWS said the burns appear intentional and appear to be caused by lighter fluid or a similar flammable. They believe the substance is being poured onto the dog and then lit. All of the dogs are puppies, ranging in age from 8 weeks old to 5 months old. It has been reported to PAWS Atlanta -- though unsubstantiated -- that setting a dog on fire is possibly being used as an initiation rite for some local gangs. PAWS has provided care for the animals. The shelter has accepted several dogs from other county shelters as well after being contacted by their staff.

Sincerely (you have no idea),
CHV

Bored Now

This month, writer Brian K. Vaughn (Lost, Pride of Baghdad) takes over script duties from Joss Whedon for Season 8 of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" (Dark Horse).

And quite frankly, I'm grateful for the change.

Yes, Joss skillfully (for the most part) guided the Buffyverse in its TV incarnation, and wrote some truly brilliant episodes ("Hush," "The Body"), but his current story arc for "Buffy" (the comic) has felt tiresome and thin - like copies of a copy. As such, despite a seemingly solid concept featuring the Scoobies moving overseas and Buffy leading the new Slayer army activated on the Season 7 finale, Whedon's first five issues have been a largely dull game of "Guess The Grudge" - with old Sunnydale foes Amy and Warren popping up for payback on our heroes because, y'know, they're just evil and pissed off all the time.

Okay, so what happens? Buffy whips their asses, and sends the bad guys away whimpering in defeat? Or in other words, nothing new?

Right...

Here's hoping Mr. Vaughn can recycle Season 8 into something fresh - a tall order considering "Buffy" (the TV series) was running on creative fumes when it retired in 2003. If Vaughn cannot work the crash cart, however, I recommend "Buffy" (the comic) be cancelled (as if Dark Horse cares about my input). This is from someone who loved following the Buffyverse throughout its history, yet wants to avoid witnessing a once-brilliant story abused into something sad and unrecognizable a la "Twin Peaks."

We'll just see what happens now....

PS: By the bye, have any readers of "Astonishing X-Men" (also by Joss Whedon) noticed how Kitty Pryde has recently adopted several Buffy-like characteristics (e.g. a heroic 20-something chick with superpowers, a hip wit, and ramped-up sex drive)? Or is it just me?

Kitty Pryde: Mutant Horndog

The Big Picture

On the drive into work this morning, I was listening to WLS radio--Chicago's longtime AM station which currently sports a conservative talk format--when a man who claimed to be a scientific expert (forgive me, I never got his name) posited that global warming could indeed have an upside when one considers it may reduce the annual total of people killed worldwide by exposure to freezing winter temperatures.

I kid you not.

So using this same "logic," I guess one could also argue that dumping medical waste into the ocean could be a great thing if fish are stuck by, say, hypodermics laced with penicillin - thus, upping the fishes' immune systems, and making them healthier for us to eat.

Wow, Grandma and Dick Cheney were right. There is a silver lining in every situation is you look hard enough.

Bloody Brilliant...In a Timelord Sort Of Way