Hello Kitty

Some were perturbed at the thought of a murderous, blood-belching cat armed with a Red Lantern’s ring, but you know what I say to such folk?

Get with the program.

The Ann Coulter School of Conservative Humor

Has just found its latest valedictorian: Michael Barone.

Next Tuesday’s Lecture: “Holocaust and Child Rape Jokes: Two Great Gags That Taste Great Together”

Holy Straightjacket

It was bound to happen.

After the election of Barack Obama, Christian fundamentalists (AKA: “Fundies”) are going mad with panic, certain that the new president’s chief goals will include taking away everyone’s guns (or worse, curbing sales of assault weapons – because, y’know, one can never have too many AK-47s), expanding Federal funds for stem cell research, and revoking the “gag order” placed by Bush on some doctors restricting them from discussing abortion with patients.

But the good news for these fundies is that—as Obama’s election is surely a red flag for Armageddon—all of the above are indicators that God will soon rain His cranky wrath (in no small part for denying His best gal, Sarah Palin, her rightful throne in DC) on Earth, and usher the damned (e.g. Obama, and anyone who voted for him) into a lake of fire, and the saved (e.g. conservative Republicans) to heaven’s guest lounge to await the buffet of a million lifetimes (with free refills on coffee and cranberry juice).

So for God’s chosen folk, relax. You’re savvy.

But for the rest of us unholy scalawags, whoa boy – we is indeed fucked, because Hell has its own buffet hall, and the only thing on the menu is week-old cole slaw.

Benny Lucas & Moses Walk Into A Bar

Y’know what I just love about head colds?

It’s that while at their peak they make those suffering from them (like me, at the moment) feel like their skulls are buried in mud – making simple things like breathing, and listening to human speech a veritable chore.

However, I think 2/3s of said mucous evacuated my head—awful image, I know—when I saw the following piece via DFTCW and Wonkette today featuring (no joke) a group of Christians praying around a golden bull statue on Wall Street this past week for an economic rebound.

To wit, one of the participants explained the reason for their holy hoe-down:

“We are going to intercede at the site of the statue of the bull on Wall Street to ask God to begin a shift from the bull and bear markets to what we feel will be the ‘Lion’s Market,’ or God’s control over the economic systems.”

Hello! So-called experts on scripture! Do the terms “idolatry” or “craven images” ring a bell?

Aw man, Moses is so gonna kick your asses.

Dance Break!

Woodshed

Poor Jill Stanek.

How unfortunate it is that most Americans do not share her 18^th century, religious police-state view of women’s reproductive rights.

But even worse, Jill is just flummoxed that Barack “Infanticide” Obama won the presidential election this week, and that two rigid, pro-life state propositions she had backed were also defeated, one in Colorado (Prop 4) that would have deemed personhood at conception, and another in South Dakota (Prop 11) that would have barred most all abortions.

Poor Jill Stanek.

To be serious for a moment, I do not support abortion on demand (as a form of birth control) in the third trimester. I believe such incidents should not be legal, but must contain standard exceptions for a woman’s life and health, plus those for rape or incest.

Abortion in the first trimester, again IMO, should be freely available – which leaves second trimester cases, and in these situations, I’m not sure where I stand.

Now where was I?

Oh yeah, poor Jill Stanek.

I’ll pray for her tonight after I donate $100 on-line to Planned Parenthood.

World Tour

Watching Obama’s victory rally in Chicago last night, it was amazing how so many places around the world were celebrating alongside us. Shots of pro-Obama partying in Times Square, Cuba, Kenya, Indonesia, Canada, France, South Africa, India, Greece, Senegal, Denmark, the UK and other sites gave the whole evening a New Years Eve-like feel of global renewal.

However, the celebratory shot I found most telling was of people dancing outside the White House – as they were not only marking the birth of an Obama administration, but also the end of George W. Bush’s in a few weeks.

Bush simply has no idea what an overall disaster he’s been as president, does he?